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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in outsdr's LiveJournal:

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    Sunday, April 6th, 2014
    11:41 am
    Tuesday, April 1st, 2014
    5:25 pm
    April 2014 Column is here!

    “Pujols! It’s funny!”

    Deep down inside, I’m just an average guy.

    Because deep down inside, the average guy is just an average 12-year-old boy.

    So the average guy never stops being amused by the same things the average 12-year-old boy thinks is funny. Like things that come from deep down inside.

    Read more...Collapse )

    Monday, March 31st, 2014
    7:04 am
    March 2014: House again, house again
    "This house is going to be my shell; my curmudgeon-cave where I can shut out the world at large and grumble without repercussions."
    Friday, February 28th, 2014
    9:58 am
    Sunday, February 16th, 2014
    1:11 pm
    Wow. I've been really quiet for a long time.

    Life is going okay- job is fine, for the most part. I still am having difficulties fitting into the corporate structure, but that is slowly improving.

    Health has been okay - I'm off Cymbalta, as after increasing it to 90mgs daily for a month it still was not doing much of anything. I'm now on 20mgs of a new drug called Vibryd, the results of which have been sporadic at best. But then, it's only been two weeks.

    The biggest news - Andy and I have been pre-approved for a mortgage, and we're hunting for a house.
    Wednesday, January 1st, 2014
    2:02 pm
    Wednesday, December 25th, 2013
    11:30 am
    Thursday, December 12th, 2013
    11:46 pm
    Tonight is my first night off since December 1. The hardware/software upgrade that the company I work for has been doing at the local hospital chain went live Saturday. Up until Saturday, I was working my buns off to get all the last minute things done. Then, Friday night, I switched to the graveyard shift to offer support as needed. As luck would have it, I was put with one of the managers that does not like me (feelings mutual) and has a superiority complex (probably also mutual). We've butted heads a few times, but hopefully the overnight shifts will end soon. I go back in Friday night.
    Saturday, November 16th, 2013
    9:24 am

    im hhaving a difficult time jholding it togethet

    Wednesday, October 9th, 2013
    5:21 pm
    October 2013 Column: Seriously
    October's column is up and ready to read at my website, so head on over:

    "Clinical Depression is a cry for attention from someone who doesn’t want noticed."

    (Many thanks to
    dreamer_easy for helping me whip it into shape!)
    Sunday, September 29th, 2013
    8:45 am
    Weekly update
    Not much to write about. The new job, now almost a month in, is going well. I am slowly adjusting to the physical nature of the job - as in, it's getting easier and I don't feel as much pain by the end of the day. The Z-Coil shoes definitely help, On a whim one day, I also wore a pair of support stockings I have, and the difference was amazing! I'm going to be wearing them almost everyday from now on. Luckily, fall is here and I won't be wearing shorts as often any more, because they definitely look silly with shorts, considering they go up to my knees.

    Two weeks ago, I think, I got a new cellphone, a Samsung Galaxy S4. To be honest, I hated it from the start. After messing around with it for a week and resetting it numerous times to factory settings, I've gotten it to where I can use it. I don't love it, but it's useable.

    Next weekend is a 21st anniversary of Poetry and Beer here in Albuquerque. I'm looking forward to going and seeing a lot of the poetry crowd.

    My cymbalta was increased to 60mgs per day.
    Wednesday, September 25th, 2013
    5:31 pm
    Tuesday, September 24th, 2013
    6:13 pm
    So ...
    Support hosiery. Yep, I went there. All the way up to the knee. And they're awesome!
    Sunday, September 22nd, 2013
    2:34 pm
    I had a dream last night that I lost a lot of weight, got much stronger, and I could run and do pullups. And John Barrowman wanted to meet me.

    It was around then that I realized it was a dream. I mean, I have never been able to do a pullup.
    Saturday, September 21st, 2013
    8:16 am
    No update this week. It hurts to type.
    Monday, September 9th, 2013
    6:00 pm
    Last week was a busy one for me.

    Monday was a holiday, so my first day at the new job was Tuesday. I met the crew, and was given a brief demonstration and orientation of what we would be doing. Basically, my job entails unboxing hardware for computer installations at the hospital, assembling what needs to be assembled, boxing it up for transport, and then occasionally going to the destination site and installing the hardware. The hardware consists of a large pneumatic arm assembly that mounts to a vertical rail on the wall. The arm holds the monitor and the keyboard. The computer itself is a small thin client terminal that is mounted at the top of the rail. Then I run all the cables and make them look pretty and I'm done. It all sounds simple enough, and it is , but ...

    Tuesday, Wednesday, and most of Thursday I spent nearly eight hours standing on my feet, in one place, on concrete. By the end of the day, I could hardly walk. Thursday it was so bad I didn't think I'd be able to continue the job. By the time I would get home at the end of the day, I could barely walk. And in the morning, as soon as my feet hit the floor the pain started coming back.

    As luck would have it, I remembered seeing people wearing funny looking shoes with big coils at the heel. I looked them up online; they're called Z-Coils, and a shop was located not far from my work place. Not only did they have what I was looking for in my size, which is unusual, the pair was on sale for %50 off, which is even more unheard of!

    I wandered around the store for awhile wearing them, and my feet immediately started feeling a little better. The saleslady made some adjustments to my shoes, and away I went.

    I wore them at work all day Friday, and to be honest, I think these shoes have saved me my job. Without them, I don't know if I would have been able to return to work on Monday. But when I wear them, even though my feet still ache at the end of the day, it's not crippling pain like it had been.

    Which is good, because I'm really enjoying my job so far. I like what I'm doing, even though it sounds boring. I'm not stuck behind a desk any more. I like my coworkers (even kinda the guy who today suddenly told me that he "refuses to obey any law that contradicts the bible". I felt it prudent not to point out that the shirt he was wearing was a cotton polyester blend.)

    I was worried that I was working too slowly. Everyone on the team is younger than me, and for the first part of the week they wear working rings around me. But without being hobbled by pain, I'm working faster than many of them now myself.

    So, yay me!

    (On an annoying note, I swung by my previous employer to ask for my final paycheck. He said he;d call me when he had it ready, because 'he's broke'. Lovely.)

    Pictures of the build:

    Read more...Collapse )
    Sunday, August 25th, 2013
    8:55 am
    Weekly update
    I have to write a column today but I'm having a major low point and while I have the subject, the words just won't come together so I'm going to do a weekly update in hopes of getting a flow going.

    I went to be last night at 6:30 pm. I woke up at 9:30 and stared at the ceiling for two hours debating whether I should get a drink of water because I was thirsty and my mouth was so dry. The water was at my desk, right beside he bed, but it took me two hours to decide that yes, I needed a drink of water. I managed to make the decision on whether I should also visit the bathroom or not before I got back into bed, because who knows how long I would have laid there otherwise.

    On Monday I was called in to interview for a pre-press position at a small print shop. The position was offered to me at the end of the interview. Low pay, and part-time work ($10 an hour at maybe 30 hours a week) I took it anyway because I was tired of passing up work and waiting for something better to come along, and I'd rather be doing something than nothing and have some sort of income than none.

    I started Tuesday. The job is simple, and much like work I was doing 15 years ago. When I got home at the end of the day, there was an email waiting for me from Kemtah, asking me to interview for the position I had been waiting for all along.

    Of course.

    They wanted me to interview Wednesday. I wrote back saying I could not, but I could Thursday morning. Wednesday I went into the new job, worked the day with no problems, and got home to a new email from Kemtah saying that Thursday morning was fine.

    I'd been trying to make the best of the print shop work, but to be honest, I was bored out of my mind. They definitely got their money's worth out of me; so far in addition to doing all the work I needed to do, I'd also repaired the connections to the network printer that was preventing the production machine from printing (their solution had been to email everything that needed printing to the computer the printer was attached to!) I also cleaned up a bunch of improper file associations, removed a seriously high amount of malware, and repaired one computer that wasn't working at all.

    Thursday morning's interview went very well, and by Thursday after noon I had a preliminary offer, enouugh of one that I decided to go in early on Friday to tell the print boss that my last day would be September 2.

    The Kemtah job is full time, with benefits, and pays $15 an hour. Not as much as I was hoping for, but sufficient.

    Friday morning I went in early to the prtint shop and explained to the boss what was going on. He took it well, and asked how much I would be making there. At that point, I didn't know yet, so I said $18 an hour ... and he asked me if I would stay if he matched it!

    That caught me off guard.

    I told him I appreciated the offer, but that I would also be getting benefits and full time hours. He asked if I was going to work that day, and I said yes, and I'd work until the 3rd if he wanted me to.

    In other news, Andy has been playing a game called Saints Row 4 that he's been raving over, about how much fun it is, and that it has cooperative play, which is somehting he and I enjoy a lot. So Friday night I spent the $70 and bought the game. Saturday morning I started playing a little and .... it wasn't fun. I fought with for an hour or so before giving up.

    A little later Andy asked me what I thought of it and I told him it wasn't fun. He started a co-op game for us to play, and that turned out to be even less fun, because only one person could do anything at a time during a lot of the game! The more I played it, the more I hated it, until finally, at 6 pm, I gave up.

    And that's when I shut down my computer because I didn't want to be awake any more, and I went to bed.

    ETA: First draft of column is written. I don't like it very much. I swore I was going to clean my car this weekend, so I guess I should go and do that now.
    Thursday, August 15th, 2013
    10:25 am
    1268 more words on 'Secrets', for a total of 2380 so far.
    10:08 am
    I'm working on 'Secrets of Sanity' right now.

    The aide shrugged. “Keep them, then,” he sai`d111111111111111111111111111111111

    That would be the point where Jinx decided he needed to sleep with his head on my keyboard.
    Monday, August 12th, 2013
    9:02 am
    I woke up early this morning; 6:30 am. Could have been because Andy was going to work early today, or it could have been because I went to bed at 8:30 last night. It doesn't matter.

    What does matter is that I wrote 1102 words this morning about my experience in a psych ward in 1992. I kind of forced myself to do it.

    Obviously it's rough, and not planned out, and I'm probably taking a route that will make it more difficult than it needs to be (no chapters, the main character is never named) but I have my reasons for that. I don't want chapters because I want it to drag out in a sense, much like the three weeks in the hospital did (Heck, at one point I considered not using paragraphs, but why torture myself?) and I don't want to name the main character because I don't want anything to cause the reader to be able to separate themselves from the narrative; I want the reader to feel like the book is about them.

    Probably crazy.

    I'm hoping that now that I have started writing, it will be easier to continue writing. I want to get as much of it out as I can, and then later I'll go back and flesh out areas as needed. I suppose instead of doing an outline of how I want the book to be, I'm roughing it out in prose.

    Or something. It;s not like I'm any good at this,.
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